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Healthy You Archives |
Just for Men
Celebrating FatherhoodDad plays a unique role in children’s lives
A Model DadAs a role model for his three daughters, Neal Berkowitz, M.D., practices what he learned from his own father, Percy—love, respect, a sense of humor and active participation in their lives. With him here is daughter Jamie, 16. “He pushes me when I need it and helps me stay positive,” she says. “I can talk to him about anything. He’s a really great dad!” “Parents play a huge role in helping their children discover the world around them, and fathers do that differently than mothers do,” says Greg Edwards, fatherhood expert with Community Services for Children in Allentown. “Fathers help children explore within boundaries and learn how to take calculated risks.” Dad’s influence continues long after the critical first three years in a child’s development, Edwards says. Studies have shown that when fathers are actively involved, both physically and emotionally, children are less likely to get in trouble with the law, use drugs or alcohol, show aggression or engage in early sexual activity. When fathers read to their children and are involved in school, both boys and girls have stronger verbal and math skills, stay in school longer and eventually earn a higher income. Children need to feel loved and safe, says behavioral health therapist Pat Gordy of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. “Boys and girls need a strong male role model in their lives. Fathers help daughters develop self-esteem and trust, and form their own identities. Boys learn problem-solving, tolerance, responsibility and respect. Children of both genders learn important things about male-female relationships from their fathers.” In earlier generations, many fathers were not that involved in their children’s lives. We place a higher value on active fathering today. Mediator Deb Gaber notices that “more fathers are going to games and recitals, helping with homework, talking through problems. When Dad puts aside everything else, it sends the message that the child is valued and important.” Being a father is good for Dad, too. Giving piggyback rides, kissing boo-boos, installing training wheels—these are life’s special moments, large and small. “Fatherhood helps men feel connected and gives them a meaningful purpose. The responsibility may help them mature and reach beyond themselves,” Gordy says. “Many men used to be driven by jobs, but especially since Sept. 11, relationships have become more important.” Staying Connected After DivorceAlmost 25 million American children are growing up without their fathers. After divorce, fathers can and should stay active in their children’s lives, says Neal Berkowitz, M.D., family physician at Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. A divorced father himself, Berkowitz understands the trauma parents and children go through. “Accept what you’re feeling and try to move forward, getting help if necessary,” he says. “Most important, put the children first. Talk to them every day. Ask how they’re feeling, not just what they’re doing. Be honest, especially about new relationships, don’t bad-mouth your ex, and spend as much time with your children as possible.”
Want to Know More? Click here for tips on being a better father or call 610-402-CARE. This page last updated 2/12/08 04:08 PM
ARTICLE TOOLS:
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 May June 2005 Eating Healthy
Staying Fit
Caring for Mind and Body
Just for Women
Just for Men
Raising a Family
Heart of Healthy You
Protecting Your Health
Coping with Illness
Aging Well
Keeping Up to Date
Weight Control
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